Let’s Talk About Xes
July 2020 | Pelin Turfanda
The society and culture in which we live shapes our view of the world. It also defines our actions. But how does one navigate having a bicultural identity or experience? Especially if you and your family, religion or culture have different values. In the various cultures that I conduct this research in, staying a virgin until marriage is a norm, that makes talking about sex a taboo and inappropriate.
Sex and sexuality, despite their importance, are not openly discussed in numerous heritage cultures. Sometimes talking about sex in front of parents is seen as disrespectful, and sometimes when there is a conversation about sex It is believed as implicitly stimulation for sexual contact; so they remain silent.
But sex talk is more than the act itself, it is also about knowing your own body, knowing what an orgasm, STD’s or menstruation is. Also the aspect of knowledge and sharing information, consequently being able to protect oneself and maintain mental and physical health. It is because of the traditional expectations, norms and values of these heritage cultures, that makes sex talk a taboo and simply not possible.
In this research I used an interview method. By making use of the embodied experiences of both diverse bicultural women and mine. To make the urgency of having sex talk clear. That not being able to discuss sex related topics as a women are a part of a broader patriarchal and perhaps misogynist system, that affects women’s sex life, mental and physical health.
With this short documentary “Let’s Talk about Xes” I enter into the discussion about the taboo with the two cultures that I embody. I want to share the stories and complex experiences of women with the world. Because it is important to acknowledge what the problem is. So we can be transparent and talk about these taboos and gain the needed knowledge at home.
”The honor of the family does not lie between a women’s legs!”
– Pelin Turfanda
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